I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
