Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
