I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
