i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
