It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
