ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You pole danced in your parka.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
