So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
