A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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