Your tits are I can't wait for
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
