I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
