I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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