You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Randomize
