even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
