A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Everything about him screamed your future.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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