I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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