My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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