why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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