I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
