Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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