is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We are all done wearing pants today
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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