You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
