Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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