He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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