We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
