you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i out mim tonsoeep
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