I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
