Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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