tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
