sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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