my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
