Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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