Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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