I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
