I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
