We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
