I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
now i know why i became what i already was.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
