you will always have a special place in my vag
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
