My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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