Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
