just come out here and I will go home with you...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
