oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
