i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
