Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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