I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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