is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
did i walk over a car last night?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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