I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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