I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
