dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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