I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
