thus making me awesome and them whores
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
