THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
