It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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