Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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